Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I have never, ever, EVER understood that saying. The other shoe? Wait a minute - what about the first shoe? Did i miss that too? And what the fucks with all these dropping shoes?

I have never in my lifetime waited for a shoe to do anything at all. Maybe I'm not as fixated on them as some people. To me, they're entirely non-dynamic devices handy for protecting my street trampling soles and hiding the horrible mutant pigeon toe on my right foot (thanks dad - thanks a bunch).

I'm not even worrisome of undoing shoelaces or wearing socks. I don't spend more on them than i would for a decent restaurant meal. And I wear them again and again and again until i cross the event horizon of probability betwixt the sciences of vulcanized synthetic polymers and ambulatory friction.

It can honestly be said that I spend as little time on footwear as humanly possible and the chances of me waiting around for the first shoe to drop, let alone the second, are infinitesimal to non-existent.

The fact that i bothered to take this time to even explain that fact comes as a total surprise and a valid indication of just how bored i must be these days.